Manners amid a pandemic

Manners amid a pandemic

>> maintaining a social life while quarantining and adopting new covid-19 habits is part of life these days, and here to share covid-19 social etiquette dilemmas, founder of the school of texas and great to see you again.

>> thank you for having me, and great seeing you.

>> a big part of life is the social aspect.

And it's maying friendships, and dating, and it's all kinds of things.

So i have so many questions for you.

I want to talk about those six social etiquette dilemmas, and let's start with the first one.

You decided to end a relationship after two years, and do you do it over zoom or in person?

>> why now?

You need to think about it.

Are you wanting to end the relationship because you're frustrated?

Because there are a lot of emotions going on right now.

And contemplate if this is the right time to do it.

If you're in the house with that person, it's going to be the wrong time, unless it's for your safety.

But if you're just frustrated and you want to end it, a better time than right now, if they have to relocate or find a job, but after all of this is contemplated, if you want to end a relationship soon, let's say that they live in a different area and they're having issues, the answer no, you want all different kinds of conversation, zoom is in person, and if you're going to do it, do it kindly, do it respectfully, and just do it carefully.

>> if you've been experiencing problems, i'm going to zoom my significant other, and break it off, but if you need to communicate more to lead up to that point.

>> right, and again, there are a lot of things going on right now.

Think through this, have you been angry for this moment?

If something comes up that requires you to separate, that's a ditch story.

But there are a lot of facts to consider, and if you have to do it virtually, you do.

Just don't text them.

>> let's say that you're perfectly happy with your significant other, but you don't live together.

One is cautious about safety.

And the other may be open to being more intimate.

How would you handle it in you're the one who is being more careful.

And more intimate and you remind them about the other's responsibility?

>> i think that you have to assertively state your point, and the relationship requires communication and compromise, and perhaps the person that really doesn't have any qualms about going out and social distancing, but their version and your version are different.

You have to come to terms with that, because if you're going to be comfortable once they're around, that's still not a good relationship.

So it has to be a win-win.

Whatever that is going to be for that particular relationship.

Communication, that's the key.

>> so maybe a gentle reminder?

>> a gentle kind reminder and maybe a little bit more assertive if they're not getting t but we have to set our boundaries, and we stick with them.

>> okay, all right, and that goes likewise for the person who is wanting more intimacy.

Take a deep breath.

Know this is not going to last forever, and consider other people.

So we want to talk about finding a date while in quarantine, and is it possible.

>> yes, it is possible.

This is one of the most commonly asked questions, and it's almost a great time to learn about somebody before you meet them.

If you're on a dating site and that's common, and you haven't met them in person.

Use this as an opportunity to find out about them, ask questions, and get to know them and communicate.

Here's a caution.

Don't share too much information, you're bored and you are probably spending more time than you would communicating, don't go overpoured and give too much that you can't retract if things don't work out.

>> make sure that the person is legitimate.

Let's pause there.

We have a few more things to get to, >> we're back with diane gossman, founder of etiquette school, and talking about quarantine.

And we want to get to weddings, and a lot of those have been canceled, diane and people changing their plans.

What else do you do if the wedding you were planning on going to has been changed in a big way?

>> this is a big deal, because people are now thinking about ri scheduling their wedding and sending out invitations once again for another time down the road.

And some of the people that would have gone the first time are now having difficulty.

They may have to go back to work to find a job.

Their finances have changed.

And this new wedding is a new opportunity.

And you can go, but if you can't make it, a simple rsvp quickly so the bride and groom will know you're not going to be attending.

>> every week we're getting reports of unemployment numbers coming out and sometimes they don't have the resources, so their time is spent trying to find a new job, so if the person getting married can understand that the celebration is going to be smaller than expected.

>> and don't forget on the other end of this, the bride and groom who may have to cut down the guest list, how can i uninvite the guest that i invited previously.

If you invited them previously, keep them on the guest list.

>>> a lot of restaurants are starting to reopen in limited capacities, but we still have a lot of delivery drivers out there bringing food to your doorsteps, or a couple of steps closer to street to maintain social distancing.

Is it proper to give them an extra tip?

>> it's not unnobles, it's not mandatory to give them extra, but it would be nice if you have the means, because they're masked up and standing in lines at the grocery store, and if you have that extra couple of dollars, do it because it's a kind thing to do.

Yesterday, i had some food delivered to me and this guy was fabulous, and in his other job, he's an illustrator, and tis thank you with this app was a little truck with my name on it, and that's gov and beyond and he deserved it.

Not to mention that he was a great delivery dry so, when you can, yes.

>> so when he goes to that much effort, let's talk about something that we eluded to the last time we met, just the normal greetings when we know someone for the first time, a business partner or someone that you're transacting with.

Right now, handshakes are off the table right now, and what do you do if someone ex stends their hand, it's not the time to do that.

When you get back to work, back to the office, you feel like should i extend my hand?

The answer is no, in we don't know how long that's going to be.

So right now, don't extend their hand.

If someone does, you can politely say i'm still social distancing, and it's so great to see i.

And then you make some gesture with your hands that shows kindness with out showing that you're shocked or irritated.

Again, they're awkward, you're awkward and just working through this.

So you're prepared, and thinking about it.

And what am i going to do first?

Because the person with the most power is the one who in the past would shake.

>> that's true.

>> now when you see someone, you be the one to extend your special greeting with your gestures, and let them follow your lead.

>> culturally speaking, i grew one several greetings, one is to put your hand over your heart to acknowledge that you're glad to see this person, so maybe find a greeting to acknowledge the person's presence.

Let's talk about masks and if you don't have a mask, what do you recommend that people do?

>> if you are not wearing a mask and you're in a group of people, you're going to notice that you, and everybody else is, that people will be uncomfortable around you.

So first and foremost, you just kind of watch the mood.

Think of it in context, but a mask still protects, and it sends care and protect myself.

So if somebody walked into the store with a mask, it means that i care, and i care about you.

>> absolutely.

Well, diane, you have some wonderful tips for everybody out there, and if anybody wants more information, where should they go?

>> go to diane gossman.com, or follow me on facebook.

>> you look